“I think I should go with the flow more.” She said. “I’m used to planning and being on top of things.” This capable new Mum shared this with me recently.
Lets talk about The Shoulds.
Such a shower of … who make you feel inadequate.
No matter what you achieve or do, the Shoulds could have done it better.
I should eat more healthily…
I should breastfeed…
I should carry baby in a sling…
I should put baby down to sleep and follow a schedule…
I should eat mild food in case baby doesn’t like the taste in my milk…
I should eat more curry to widen baby’s palate…
I should co-sleep with baby…
I should put baby into another room…
And on and on… So in my classes…
The Shoulds can take a hike.
AND…
We are who we are.
If there is something in us that needs attention because it’s a genuine issue that is not working for us. Fine.
Work on making the change you need to help be the person you need to be.
But perhaps pregnancy or just after having a baby are the times in your life to heap self love upon yourself.
When you’re pregnant you are most likely struggling against your former self. Trying to do all the things you did before.
But you weren’t growing a human being then!?!
When you have spent 9 months growing a baby and then birthed your baby and then are feeding baby in their infancy… you are exhausted.
You have also birthed yourself as a new version of you.
If you are a first time Mum or this is your 10th child then it’s still different.
You are at the beginning.
So have another cup of coffee, forget the washing, the house won’t fall down if it’s messy.
Be gentle with yourself and ask for the help you need.
You deserve it.
Every month I teach baby massage online. It’s a five week course. I teach every Thursday morning at 10.30am
It’s a relaxing class, baby led, where Mums chat and get some relaxation techniques for themselves as well as learning massage strokes for their babies.
If you’d like to join the course follow the link below:
https://beginwithelaine.ie/services/online-baby-massage-course/
xxx Elaine